Top 7 Wine Jokes and Puns – Twelve Green Bottles Wine
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Top 7 Wine Jokes and Puns

Posted on May 19 2017

Drinking wine is a great way to relax. It can also loosen your tongue and make you prone to a good giggle. These are some of our favourite jokes about wine, maybe thought up while drinking it, but certainly good for a laugh! 

 

7.

I have joy in my heart and a glass of wine in my hand. Coincidence??

6.

It's funny how 8 glasses of water a days seems impossible...
But 8 glasses of wine can be done in one meal.

5.

I drank so much wine last night that when I walked across the dance floor to get another glass, I won the dance competition.

4.

I was sat with my wife while she sipped on her glass of wine, when she said, "I love you so much, you know. I don't know how I could ever live without you."
I said, "Is that you or the wine talking?"
She said, "It's me talking to the wine.

3.

The first thing on my bucket list is to fill the bucket with wine.

 

2.

I'm a wine enthusiast.
The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get.

1.

A drunk got on a bus one day and sat down next to a priest.
The drunk stank of wine, his shirt was stained, his face was all red, and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket.
He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple of minutes later, he asked the priest, "Father, what causes arthritis?"
The priest replied, "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man."
"Imagine that," the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologised. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis, Father," the drunk said, "but I just read in the paper that the Pope does."

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